Copernicus called.
I’m not claiming a JFK-size conspiracy theory here. I’m just saying sometimes everyone else seems to be in on a joke that’s on me.
The other day just before leaving work, I partook in five-o’clock potty time. (One of my former coworkers started this tradition, because she didn’t want to have to go to the bathroom if she got in a car accident on the way home. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but I still practice the ritual daily.) Anyway, by happenstance, I checked my teeth in the mirror, and there were remnants of lunch’s broccoli. Obvious, green, top row, one tooth over. So, out of the many people I talked to between lunch and 5 p.m., no one could mention this little imposter? Were they all snickering about me as I walked away, as I’m sure they assumed, to gnaw on some foliage at my desk?
It’s like a night when you talk yourself into wearing one of those outfits that hide in the back of your closet. And once you’re out, you would kill for your big-girl jeans and a sweatshirt. And people come to you and say, “That’s a really cute embroidered vest, and I haven’t seen stirrups like that since the early ‘90s. Way to bring ‘em back!” But you wonder if they really admire your outfit, or if the laughing and pointing is aimed at you.
One time I was in the loop on a string of e-mails among several of us. I hit “reply all” and responded with what I thought was a witty quip. But after that, either the string was cut short or just my strand, because I didn’t hear anything else. So I started imagining all of the ways my joke could have been inappropriate or misunderstood. I was sure an HR person at one of our offices caught my e-mail and was using it as an example for all employees to see why company resources shouldn’t be used for personal reasons. I didn’t hear from or see any of the other respondents for awhile, so I grieved over the loss of our friendship and stewed over their overreaction to a simple e-mail.
Hey, Kirsten. Copernicus called. He said the universe doesn’t revolve around you.
OK. Maybe I shouldn’t take things so personally. But how should I respond to this, which I found written on the parking lot in front of my apartment?
I thought I was the only one that had experienced that what-the-hell moment when I realized my choice of attire had gone horribly wrong. Yet somehow I still manage to repeat it and those clothes end up back in the back of my closet. As for C.O.W. in the parking lot, maybe it’s that cheesy christian abbreviation?? (I can’t say it because I’m embarassed that I’ve heard it)
well now I’m really curious about what kind of cheesy christian acronym C.O.W. could be…hmmm…
The “reply-all”button scares me. Since it’s right next to the “reply to only one person button” I’m afraid I’ll say something with poor grammar and spelling, in a sarcastic way that only the person intended would know what it meant, send it to everyone and be ruined!
YOU ARE HILARIOUS MI AMOR
Maybe the C.O.W. was really pointing to your next door neighbor’s parking space.
I can post what the cheesy Christian acronym for COW is, to clear up the mystery. And because I didn’t know what it meant until I asked
It’s Chick of the Word.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but I don’t think any woman wants to be called a cow, no matter what the secret meaning might be!
we eventually found out it stands for City of Waco. Genius!